Is this what they call love?
by YellowCar47
Summary: High school AU: Dean and Castiel just met and they immediately became best friends! But will their friendship become something else? Cas is being abused by his older brother Balthazar and Dean nurses him back to health every time. Then one time it goes to far and Dean is standing over Balthazar with his blood on his hands.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Dean walked into his bedroom, threw his satchel on the floor and sighed, he had had a considerably good day at his first day back at Kansas district high after the winter break. the early morning was terrible but dean would remember the rest of the day forever.

When he entered the school, he was greeted with a group of huge buff males with tanks and fury. He quickly walked past them but thy reeked of weed and alcohol. He made his way to his first class, (biology) and sat next to his girlfriend, Lisa. She turned to him and slapped him across the face (before the teacher came in) the slap brought a memory flooding back to him, the night of Meg's party. Dean had been extremely drunk and might have kissed a couple chicks. The memory was blurred and he didn't remember parts of it but he remembered the important bits. She leaned over and softly whispered into his ear,

"It's over." Dean was shocked but a bit relieved, he had never really loved Lisa, sure she was an amazing friend most of the time but he never loved her. The rest of class was spent exchanging dirty looks and murmuring insults. He was relieved when the bell rang. His next class was history, Dean groaned. He had always hated history. When he walked into the room, the only available seat was at the back, next to a strange kid in a trench coat. Dean plopped his satchel next to his seat and sat down. He was surprised at the kids knowledge of the Second World War. He soon discovered his name was Castiel Novak. He was very smart and dean quickly discovered he was a bit of a nerd. Dean smile when he offered to hand out the homework, a bit of a teachers pet to. At lunch, he sat at a table alone, all his friends were also friends of Lisa and they liked her more than him so he knew he wouldn't find new friends for a while. Then a deep voice startled him,

"May I sit here?" Dean saw it was Castiel from history class. He was slightly taken aback but recovered and nodded,

"Sure, sure. You're Castiel right?" The strange boy smiled,

"You remember me?" Dean blinked,

"Of course I remember you! You were the only kid who could recite all the leaders of the countries who participated in work war 2. Twice." Castiel blushed and looked at his feet.  
"I took quite a big interest in the Second World War as a child. To be honest I'm a bit of a nerd." Dean grinned,

"That's OK with me!" Castiel tilted his head in confusion. Dean noticed this and asked,

"What?" Castiel quickly said,

"Your the first stranger I have ever met who hasn't called me a freak." Dean was surprised that anyone would call Castiel a freak, yes he was a nerd but a freak? It didn't fit.

"You're not a freak! Why do people say that?" Castiel shrugged,

"I assume it has something to do with my history obsession and intelligence." Dean cocked his eyebrows,

"Is that why you came to sit with me?" Cas looked hurt,

"I can leave if you want." Dean quickly shook his head and said,

"No, no of course not! I was just asking!" Castiel understood and thought for a second before he said,

"Yeah I suppose it is. I didn't think about it. I think the main reason was that you seemed nice and I have no friends here." Dean was shocked at how easily he could express himself without embarrassment. Dean envied him. Dean smiled and said,

"That's not true! You have one!" Castiel seemed confused,

"Who?" Dean rolled his eyes and said,

"Me! Is that OK with you?" He teased him. Castiel nodded a bit too quickly and said,

"Definitely." Dean smiled and dug in to his burger while Cas reached into his brown paper bag and pulled out a garden salad. Dean sighed and Cas looked at him in confusion,

"Salad? Do you have any REAL food?" dean said teasingly. Cas smiled and said,  
"My mother is quite insistent that our family is healthy."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Three, Anna, Gabriel and Balthazar. What about you?" Dean replied with a laugh,

"One brother, Sam! He's a freshman here this year, I don't remember seeing you last year, are you a freshman too?" Cas shook his head and said,

"No, I came from a different school." Dean became very interested in the conversation they were having. He was surprised at how emerged he could get in their talking, so much more so than any conversations he had had with Jake or Chris (his previous friends).

"Really? Why did you come here?" Cas sighed and sad rather quickly and quiet,

"I was expelled." Dean nearly choked on his burger with shock.

"You!? But aren't you an A+ student?" Cas swallowed and said,

"Yes, well, it's quite a long story," dean glanced up at the clock and said,

"You'll have to tell me tomorrow!" He crammed the rest of his burger into his mouth and picked up his bag. Castiel put his uneaten salad back in his back and they both started walking to their separate classes when the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. Dean thought about his encounter with Castiel during English, Dean couldn't understand why he had enjoyed his conversation with him. Usually dean would back away from nerds and walk away but Castiel Novak was different. Mrs. Grazia soon caught his attention and dean had to focus on the lesson after that. Castiel had gym with dean as his last period and dean was, again, surprised. The boy was very athletic and strong. dean had never met a nerd who was athletic and strong. And he was quite attractive in a non-gay way. At the end of the day, he saw him sitting on a bench outside the school. Dean had been held up talking to a teacher and he walked up to Cas and asked him,

"What are you doing so late out here? School finished, like, an hour ago." Cas jumped back in shock when he heard deans voice, he responded with,  
"My mother was supposed to pick me up from work but I have a feeling she forgot." Dean felt sorry for the kid and said shyly,  
"Do you want a lift?" He gestured to the impala in the parking lot. Castiel raised his eyebrows at the sleek black car and asked,

"Really? I live quite far away." Dean laughed,

"It's alright, I'm late anyway." Cas stood up and followed dean to his car.

"Thank you."

"No problem!" The first five minutes of the drive were silent but then dean said,

"So , we've got time, how about that long story?" Cas sighed and looked down. With some encouragements from dean, he began his story,

"In my tenth year at Michigan high school, my brother, Balthazar, got into a drinking problem. I told him to be careful but he never listened to any of us. It eventually got out of our control. He came home at 3 in the morning every day and he became violent. Our whole family became very worried about him and one day at school, he hit me. I had accidentally bumped into him in the halls and he spilt his beer on himself. I apologized but his hit me across my face. I tried to calm him down but he kept abusing me. From that day forth he always abused me but one day it got to be to much. One day i fought back. He had made me bleed a considerable amount and I was sure I had a broken nose. I was so sick of him that I threw myself into him and he fell to the floor. I punched an kicked him. I was so angry and out of control." Dean realized his voice crack and a tear run down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, embarrassed and continued,

"A teacher found us and started yelling at me. I told her he hit me first but all my bruises had faded and Balthazar told her the blood was from him defending himself. I got expelled and told my parents the story. They believed me completely and took us all out of school for the rest of the year. Our family got into a huge argument that em resulted in moving out. He now is married to a slut from Hawaii and in a apartment in New York. My parents put my sister, brother and I in this school and we moved. I think that's all." Dean realized his mouth was hanging open and he quickly shut it. Castiel then gestured to a house they were about to pass,  
"It's this one, thanks again for the ride Dean, I'll see you tomorrow." He hid his face from dean and when he stopped Castiel quickly jumped up and ran to the door. On the ride home, dean puzzled over Castiel. So smart, athletic and broken. He had a terrible past and yet he could still be kind and friendly and ace everything. So there dean was standing, in his bedroom, puzzling over a strange boy, not a nerd anymore, not a jock, just strange. He puzzled over Castiel Novak.

**Chapter two: Friends**

The next day was just as, maybe even more eventful than the last. Lisa sat as far away from him as possible in biology and he at next to Castiel in history. He wasn't very talkative in class and dean was ready to question him at lunch. When the ball rang, dean waited for Castiel to get his stuff and they silently walked to the cafeteria. Once they both had st down and got their lunches out, dean asked,

"Are you alright Cas? Is it about what you told me yesterday?" He lifted his head and said,

"What did you call me?" Dean was taken aback,

"Cas, Castiel is to long and I like Cas. Is that alright with you?" Cas nodded and continued to poke his vegetable rice.

"Well?" Dean asked impatiently

"What?" Asked Cas, acting confused and oblivious.

"Your acting weird! Ever since you told me about your brother you've been quiet! Is everything alright with you?" Cas shifted uncomfortably,

"Every thing's fine." Dean wasn't so sure but he didn't want to pester him so he changed the subject,

"So what do you think of the new librarian?" Cas jumped on the subject, grateful that dean had left the previous one to rest. The days past by quickly and dean and Cas became very close, best friends. One day, in march, dean invited Cas to the movies with him, he had gone with him before and Cas enjoyed the movies. They watched paranormal activity 4 and half way through the movie, Cas grabbed deans arm in fear. Dean chuckled and Cas turned bright crimson and pulled away. Dean enjoyed the movie and Cas seemed to be back to his normal self again then one day something happened that dean would never have seen coming,

After the school day, dean had dropped Cas off, as usual but after dean got home, about an hour later, he heard urgent banging on the front door, he heard Sam get it and heard,  
"Oh my god are you alright?" He bolted up when he heard Cas's voice reply with,

"I'll be fine, I need to speak with dean, I'm a friend of his." Sam seemed shocked,

"Of course! He's just upstairs!" Dean heard heavy feet clomping up the stairs. Cas suddenly walked into his room an dean gasped. Cas had a black eye, his face was purple with bruising and his nose was bleeding. Dean got up and ran up to him,

"Oh my god Cas! Why happened!? Did Balthazar come back!?" Cas weakly nodded and dean brought him over to sit on his bed. Dean ran downstairs and grabbed the first aid kit. Sam tried to ask what happened but dean just said,

"Later." Back upstairs, dean patched Cas up. Once he knew there was nothing else he could did about his face, he gave class some clothes and sent him to change. While Cas changed, dean sat cross legged on his bed, fuming. Castiel had been through so much pain and hardship and then Balthazar decides to come back and give it all back to him. Cas soon walked back in wearing a tight black t shirt and jeans. Dean took his other clothes and put them in the wash downstairs. They has been splattered with blood and dean had an odd feeling Cas that the blood wouldn't wash off.

Cas came to sit down next to dean and at first they were both silent but dean then asked,

"What happened, Cas?" Cas closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. He took a deep breathe In and said,

"When I got back from school, after you dropped me off, my parents were out, my sister was with friends and Gabe was still at school. I at first thought nothing of it so I went to my room to start my homework. However when I was half way through I heard a creak downstairs. I went to investigate and I found Balthazar standing in the kitchen with a knife. I ran to the back door but he threw the knife and the back of it hit me in the head and I fell. He beat me and eventually i managed to free myself. If I hadn't, I would probably be dead right now. I'm so sorry dean, he might have followed me, I'm so sorry!" Dean pat his back and assured him,

"It's OK Cas, I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise." Cas looked up at him with a spark of hope in his electric blue eyes. Dean smiled and hugged his friend while he shook with sobs. Once Cas had fully composed himself dean showed him the guest room and he went to sleep. Dean went downstairs and sat next to Sam on the couch who was watching Spider-Man.

"Spider-Man? Aren't you a little old for that?" Sam paused the film and turned to dean,

"Who was that kid and what the hell happened?" Dean sighed and said,

"He's my best friend from school. You must have seen him around sometimes? Castiel Novak?"

"That quirky nerd guy?"

"I'd prefer if you isn't call him that but, yes."

"So what happened to him?" Dean looked down and began the story,

"In Cas's tenth grade he went to Michigan high school. His brother had a drinking problem and always abused him, like really made him bleed. Then one day it got really bad and Cas fought back. He got expelled. His brother moved to New York and the rest of his family and him loved here, to Kansas. He told me that he never returned but today when he got back from school, his brother was just standing in the kitchen with a knife. He was going to kill him. The rest of his family were out so Cas went to the only other person he knows, me." Sam whistled,

"Man, poor kid. Is he alright now?" Dean nodded,

"Yeah I patched him up, gave him some clothes and now he's sleeping in the guest room. he looked really bad he'll probably be out for a while. So any good bits in the movie yet?" San could tell the conversation was over and thy started talking about the effects in the movie. Every so often dean would glance toward the stairs nervously just to see if Cas came down. Sam noticed this and said,

"He's probably still asleep dean, stop worrying." Dean nodded but he still glanced up every so often. At around 12:00 dean yawned and said,

"I know it's a Friday and I should be partying but I am really tired, 'night Sammy!" Dean got up, ruffled Sam's hair and went up the stairs two at a time. He peaked into the guest room and saw Cas sleeping peacefully. Dean smiled at his friend and got changed and into his bed. He woke up in the early morning to get a glass of water but on his way to the bathroom he heard something coming from the guest room. He quietly opened the door and found Cas shaking with sobs, curled up and hugging the sheets. Dean ran to his side and tried to shake him awake,

"Cas! Cas wake up!" Cas moaned and said in his sleep,

"Don't hurt me, please! I'm  
So sorry!" Dean knew he was having a nightmare about Balthazar and in that moment dean felt he could kill him. He shook Cas more and his voice volume grew.

"Cas! You're OK! No one is going to hurt you! You're fine Cas!" Cas suddenly jolted awake and stated at dean,

"You promise?" Dean hugged his friend and whispered in his ear,

"No one is going to hurt you ever again, I promise."

**Chapter three: breaking friendships**

Dean woke up with his head leaned against the guest bed. He scooched back and remembered what happened last night. He saw Cas was sound asleep so dean got up and went downstairs. Sam was making pancakes,

"Why the hell are you making pancakes? Is the queen coming over?" Sam rolled his eyes,

"No," he said, "they're for Cas. He seemed really upset last night, I thought I might be a good host if I made him breakfast." Dean raised his eyebrows and said,

"Alright but Cas usually has take out, he says his parents are rarely around to cook." Sam smiled,

"Then he'll have a nice surprise." After Sam was done making all the pancakes, Cas woke up and came downstairs in the pyjamas dean gave him.

"Morning sleepy head! I was worrying that you died in your sleep!" Cas smiled,

"I'm alive dean, no need to worry. What are these?" He said gesturing to the pancakes,

"What? Haven't you had pancakes before?" Dean was shocked when Cas shook his head.

"Come sit down and I'll show you what to do. Cas sat down next to dean and dean explained how to eat a pancake and what they were. Cas enjoyed then a lot and said that he thinks he had them as a young child. Sam smiled at the two and went back up to his room. Dean and Cas chatted and laughed for a while until dean. Decided not to leave the subject of Cas's brother.

"Cas, listen we need to talk about Balthazar." Cas immediately stopped smiling and all the colour drained from his face. His hand started to shake and he put his fork down.

"What do we need to talk about?" Dean was getting tired of this,

"Do you want to report him? Go to the police before your bruises fade? What do you want to do?" Cas thought for a second and said,

"I want to stay with you, here." Dean knew how socially awkward Cas could be but to talk to the police about his abusive brother? Dean would go to the station later. Dean didn't know why to do,

"Cas, you can't stay here forever, I wish you could but it doesn't work like that. You have to talk to your family, Balthazar." Cas winces at the name and distinctively looked down at his bruises.

"I don't want to talk to them, I can't." Dean was very worried for Cas, he was so scared of his brother. He knew Cas as a shy person but when anyone mentioned Balthazar Cas acted like a terrified kitten. Dean patted him on the back and went upstairs to get a bit of homework done. Cas sat still for a while, he was so grateful to dean for helping him. Dean was always here for Cas and Cas sighed with happiness. He stood up and was about to go up to his new room when a voice stopped him in his tracks,

"Hey, Castiel. Hiding with your boyfriend are we?" Castiel went stone cold and started violently shaking. He slowly turned and whimpered when he saw the tall frame of Balthazar. Cas backed away and said,

"Please don't hurt me Balthazar!" Balthazar laughed coldly and harsh.

"Oh Cas, that's what he calls you isn't it? I don't want to hurt you, I just can't help it." He leaned forward and swung his arm to Cas's face. Cas felt the blow full on and screamed when he felt his nose crack. He heard dean!a voice come from upstairs,

"Cas? Are you ok?" Cas screamed again but Balthazar shoved his hand against his mouth so strong, Cas felt one of his teeth fall out. He heard dean call down again a bit more concerned,

"Cas what's going on?" Cas looked around and kicked the table. A glass Case fell off and smashed on the floor. Dean heard and came running downstairs. Balthazar punched Cas in the stomach just as dean came into view. Dean threw himself on to him and struck him, hard. Cas shuffled backwards against the wall and watched as dean fought him. They rolled around but soon dean was on top and struck him over and over again. Dean screamed at him through his teeth,  
"You. Bloody. Jerk! You. Abusive. *******!" Cas stood up and saw that Balthazar was unconscious. Not only unconscious, he wasn't breathing. Cas yelled at dean,

"Dean stop!" Dean ignored him and Cas inched closer and called,

"Dean he's dead!" Dean stopped immediately and stared down at him, he wasn't breathing and blood was flowing down his face. Dean jumped up and backed away. He shook with every breath and his eyes were wide with fear. Cas put his hand on his shoulder. And dean quietly said,

"Did, did I kill him?" Cas sighed,

"I don't know. Are you OK?" Dean looked at Cas, shocked,

"Me!? Are YOU okay Cas? Is your nose broken?" Cas nodded and winced.

"Again I think, and I lost a couple teeth to, one of my ribs might be fractured to." Dean shook with anger and stared at the still form of Balthazar,

"That bloody friggin' jerk. I could just, just-" c

"Stop dean, I am extremely grateful for what you've done for me but I can't let you hurt him further, and maybe he's already dead." Dean cringed,

"Don't say that." Cas looked down and muttered an apology. Dean walked to the kitchen and phones the police.

"Hello? Yes, my friends been attacked, he's very injured and I don't think he can walk." Cas was about to protest but dean gestured to the chair and Cas sat down without complaints.

"7648 arbour drive, Lawrence. Please be fast I think he's about to pass out." Dean put the phone down and Cas immediately said,

"I can walk and I don't at all feel feint." Dean rolled his eyes and said,

"You will by the time they come." Cas tilted his head and as dean spoke, he realized a nausea building in his stomach. He developed a headache and his vision became a bit blurry.  
"I am becoming feint, how did you know?" Dean laughed,

"I've been in hundreds of fights, right after, everyone feels fine because they're shocked but then when they get back to reality, they feel nauseas and usually throw up. Cas turned white and said,

"Will I feel worse?" Dean replied with,

"You know what Cas? You're gonna get a lot worse. It's gonna hurt but I'll get you through it, I promise. I'll be there every step of the way." A tear rolled down Cas's cheek and dean hugged him. Cas was a wreck when the paramedics came, they gave dean a shock blanket and he rolled his eyes and said,

"I'm fine, it's him you need to worry about," dean gestured to Cas who was lying in a gurney. He looked sadly at Cas, he looked so small and helpless. He had a oxygen mask on and he was breathing quickly and shakily. Dean saw the pain in his eyes, Cas had been through so much violence in his life, dean envied the way he kept together and was still nice and friendly. When they got to the hospital, Cas was moved to an emergency ward. He had a white cast rapped around his waist and chest, a white bandage on his nose and a white sheet. Dean cameos and laughed at him.

"What is it?" Cas asked curiously, dean pointed at all the bandaging and said,

"You look like a mutant human snowman." Cas grinned and said,

"You don't look to great yourself!" Dean instinctively reached up and scratched his nose. He had a black eye and bruises everywhere. He sat in the armchair next to Cas and sighed.

"Do you wanna talk about it Cas?" Cas looked at him strangely,

"Talk about what? Oh no, not that!" Dean was getting angry at Cas for leaving the subject for so long,

"Cas your brother just followed you over here and broke half your body, then I killed him and you don't want to talk!?" Cas sighed and said quietly,  
"I'm sorry, no ones ever asked me to talk except for teachers. I suppose I could talk." Dean relaxed and said,  
"Fine, now Cas, I don't want this to be a chick flick moments with hugs and tears and stuff so just straight out tell me what's you feel." Cas took a long breath and said,

"I hate it, I hate going home scared that he'll be there, ready to hurt me. I can barely get myself out of your car, I feel safer with you," he turned crimson red and continued,

"When I got home, I heard his voice and I would have killed myself, right then and there Rather than face him. He terrifies me, dean. He told me that he doesn't want to hurt me, that my face was to pretty to mess up. Then he'd say that it was a compulsion, an obsession. That i was the perfect punching bag, I never fought back and i barely ran. When I met you, I felt safer. Everyday I would shake at the sound of someone's voice thinking it was him. Your voice just says, 'you're safe.' You're my best friend dean and I don't want to lose you, I was so scared when you attacked Balthazar, he could have killed you but instead, you killed him. I am forever grateful to you dean, I know longer have to live in constant fear because of you." Dean sat in shock he angrily wiped away a tear and said,

"Damn it Cas, you're not emotional at all! How do you do that?" Cas seemed puzzled,

"Do what?" Dean said,

"Say things like that, that obviously hurt you more than anything else, you can tell me anything without a thought. Like we're discussing a movie or something you tell me your deepest secret." Cas blushed and dean gave him a look that said, 'what?'

"I haven't told you my deepest secret yet." Dean widened his eyes and said,

"Ooooh! What is it?" Cas blushed even brighter this time,

"For another time dean." Dean roles his eyes and slouched back on the chair.

"You know I would never tell anyone Cas," Cas looked down ad muttered,

"That's not what I'm worried about," dean pushed him but he just said,  
"I don't want to talk about it dean." The edge of embarrassment in Cas's voice made dean stop. He changed the subject and said,

"So do you knew when you're getting out of this hell hole?" Cas smiled lightly and said,

"I don't know, they said I'd be in here for two weeks for sure." Dean sighed and knew he would miss his best friend, he would visit every day but it wouldn't be the same. Dean turned around when he heard his name being called. A man in a black suit stood in the doorway and dean said,

"What's up bond?" Cas snickered and the man said,

"Dean Winchester I need to speak to you for a moment please." Dean got up and followed the tall man outside. Cas could see there frames from the window and heard there muttered voices. He couldn't understand what they were saying until dean yelled,  
"WHAT!? Dude, It was in self-defence!" Cas turned as white as paper and immediately knew what they were talking about. Dean killed Balthazar and the man was going to arrest him. Cas felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't love without his best friend, he couldn't.

"What do you mean I killed him on purpose!? Who told you that!?" He heard dean yelling and then the man whisper a name and Cas heard it clearly, echoing in his head over and over again banging against his skull. Cas put his head in his hands and felt his body fall apart. Dean rammed through the door and faced Cas, furious. He shook his head at him and yelled,

"You told them I killed him on purpose! What the hell is wrong with you Castiel? Do you want me out of your life? Do you hate me that much!?" Cas started to cry and he felt like a baby,

"Dean, please understand that I never meant it like that! I said, and these are my exact words, 'he kept hitting when he was already dead and didn't stop until I yelled.' I never meant that you killed him on PURPOSE!" Dean paced back and forth and was in pure rage,

"You said we were best friends! I trusted you! I said I'd help you get better but now Castiel Novak, you're on your OWN!" Dean stormed out of the room and a few minutes later, Cas heard the engine of the impala roar an Cas winced as his ribs ached. He hated himself. He ruined his friendship and deans life. Cas could tell that his friendship with dean Winchester was over.


	2. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the weird chapter thing in the first post! I am new to fan fiction so I'm still learning! Again, sorry for the wait, I've been so busy! Please review! reviews mean so much to me!** **Btw, this fanfiction is being written while ruby is alive and Cas and Dean and Demons are nonexistent and yeah its messed up!**

* * *

Dean could tell that his friendship with Castiel Novak was over. He had yelled at him when Cas was right and sorry for what he had done. Cas was confused and sad and Dean had yelled at him like he was a puppy that stole food off the counter. Cas and Dean were everything to each other, best friends and now Dean had destroyed any chance he had of being more than that. He put his head in his hands and felt a tear fall onto his faded blue jeans. He sat in a jail cell and cried. The prisoner in the cell next to his just looked at him sadly and said.

"Are you alright kid?" Dean jumped up and hurriedly rubbed his eyes.

"Fine!" He said but his voice cracked and gave him away. The woman raised his eyebrows and said,

"What happened?" Dean sighed. He may as well tell her everything, he was going to jail anyway.

"I killed my best friends brother because he was abusing him. I didn't mean to and it was an accident but Cas, my best friend told them about the attack and they assumed that I meant it. Cas was in shock and scared and he didn't know what he was saying. I yelled at him and said I hated him and that he was horrible when I'm the one who killed His brother, I'm the one who yelled at him. Now he probably hates me and I'll never be able to see him again to say how sorry I am and how I wish that- that..." The woman smiled sadly and said,

"Buddy, of course he doesn't hate you!" Dean looked confused and said,

"What do you mean?"

"He probably hates himself more than he hates you! I know if that were to happen to me, I wouldn't hate you, I would hate myself for telling the cops in the first place. I would think that you hated me! You two both probably think the other hates them and both hate themselves." Dean's mouth was hanging open. The woman grinned and said,

"Oh yeah and one more thing," Dean looked at him, curiously. The woman closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were pitch black. Dean recognized those demon eyes anywhere.

"Ruby..." He muttered. She smiled and said,

"I know exactly what you feel and what you and Castiel have been going through. You need to take control of your feelings Dean. You know what you feel and I know what Castiel feels and let me tell you," She moved closer to the bars and whispered, "He likes you more than you think." And with that, she vanished.

* * *

Cas was sitting in the hospital bed, crying when Ruby came in. He hurriedly brushed away his tears but his eyes were still red and puffy. Ruby couldn't help but feel sorry for the teenager, he had been through so much. Ruby sat down and smiled. Cas sat up nervously and said,

"Who are you?" Ruby turned her eyes black and Cas jumped back.

"I'm a demon Castiel Novak but I'm here to help. My name's Ruby," Cas was breathing heavily, he thought that Demons were extinct, that all of that was over. His father had told him. Cas had heard of the legendary Ruby, the demon that went rogue and fought for the humans, against her own kind. Ruby was Cas's role model, he was honored to be in her presence,

"Ruby! I know who you are! You are the rogue Demon who helped the humans." Ruby nodded and said,

"Listen to me, this is important. I was just talking to Dean and-" Cas's eyes lit up and he interrupted her with,

"Dean? Is he alright?" Ruby loved how worried and concerned Cas was for Dean. She said,

"He's absolutely fine, better than fine actually. That's what I need to tell you!" Cas cocked his head and said,

"What do you mean?" Ruby rolled her eyes and said,

"You think he hates you don't you? You think that this is all your fault?" Cas nodded confidently and said,

"I'm positive."

"That's exactly what he thinks of you!"

"What?"

"He thinks that this is all his fault and you hate him, he thinks that your friendship is over." Cas shook his head and said,

"No of course not! It's **my** fault, not his! And he should hate me!" Ruby was getting impatient,

"Can't you see?! He wants to apologize to you, to make everything better and to tell you-" Ruby said.

"Tell me what? Ruby what did he say?" Ruby calmed down and said with a huge grin on her face,

"He didn't say this but his heart was screaming it. He wants to tell you that he loves you and that he always will. Not as a brother or a friend. I know how both of you feel about the other and one of you needs to take up the courage and say it." Cas sat there, shocked. He had heard of Ruby's amazing talents but mind reading was never one of them. Before he could say anything, she was gone. Cas sat in his hospital bed, puzzling over what the demon had said. Did Cas love Dean? Is that what he felt everyday with him? Were the butterflies in his stomach trying to tell him something? Cas thought about whenever Dean smiled, how he would feel all previous sadness vanish like dust on the wind and all he could see was Dean. The way Cas felt was definitely more than friendship. He suddenly realized something amazing, something extraordinary. He realized that he was in love with Dean Winchester.

* * *

Dean sat shocked, not believing what the demon had told him, what did she mean? That Cas liked him more than he thought? Did it mean what he thought it did? Did Cas love him? Did Dean love Cas? These questions whirled around his head and Dean ran through all their encounters, the ones where Cas blushed, stuttered or tripped while looking at Dean, the times Dean caught him staring at him, the times that Dean blushed while staring at Cas, Dean had never truly been in love so he had no idea what to think. He pieced every encounter together and he suddenly realized something amazing, something extraordinary. He realized that he was in love with Castiel Novak.

* * *

Once Cas was all better, he was allowed to visit Dean in his cell, ((I know I know, that would never happen)) They both greeted each other just like friends and Cas sat next to him silently. Dean picked up the courage to say,

"Listen Cas, A woman visited me last night," Cas sighed and said,

"Ruby the rogue demon, yes I know. She visited me too." Dean was so surprised,

"Demon? You know about them? She visited you too?" Cas nodded,

"I know about demons, not as much as your family but I am aware of them. And she did visit me." Dean coughed awkwardly and asked,

"What did you guys talk about?" Cas blushed a furious bright red and Dean knew exactly what they talked about.

"We mostly talked about what her and you talked about, she told me about your conversation and what you feel." Dean scrambled for something to say,

"Listen Cas, I'm so sorry if you don't- I don't know if- I was tired- She-I-" Cas smiled and interrupted his confused thoughts by kissing him. It was light and gentle. Dean was shocked at first but his shock quickly turned to delighted surprise. Dean kissed him back. soft and gently. Cas could tell that Dean wanted more but Cas pulled away. Dean smiled and said,

"Well that clears a lot up." Cas grinned and said,

"I love you." Dean sighed happily. He was so happy that he understood what Ruby said, so happy she was right but even more happy that,

"I love you too." They kissed again, this time with more passion. Dean cupped his hand around Cas' neck and deepened the kiss. They didn't care that Cas still had a broken arm, that Dean was going to jail, nor that they were both guys. But they did care about each other. Then they heard a voice and they jumped away from each other,

"What. The. Hell. Is going on?" Dean's mouth gaped as he watched Sam drop the beer bottle he had brought for Dean. Sam had come to see Dean but he had seen much more than that.


	3. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! My wifi was down for a while and everything got messed up. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who's reviewed! that's bani86, more-profound-bond and XxZessxX! I love all of you 3**

* * *

Chapter 5

Sam stood in shocked silence, staring at the scene before him, dean and Cas sitting less than two feet away from each other, both blushing bright red. Cas's hair was ruffled and Dean gulped. He finally managed to speak,  
"Hey Sam!" Sam's mouth gaped wider and he said,  
"Hey Sam? Honestly? Dean what was that?" Cas stood up and said,  
"Sam, I'm sorry I-"  
"No," dean cut him off, "let me say it Cas," Sam stood patiently, waiting. Dean sighed and began to speak, it took only one word out of his mouth for Sam to gasp,  
"Ruby." Sam looked shocked and confused,  
"What do you mean? How does she explain this?" Dean began to speak but then a high female voice cut into his phrase,  
"I helped them." They all turned around to see ruby, standing in the cell corner, smiling,  
"As you might have seen Sam, if you weren't blind as a bat, your brother is in love with Castiel and Castiel is in love with your brother. They show it but are too shy and STUPID to admit to each other. Skinny love." Sam was speechless. Dean and Cas had turned an even brighter, if possible, shade of red. They shifted uncomfortably and looked at the ground. Ruby vanished and Sam turned to the two lovebirds,  
"Is this true?" Dean and Cas looked at each other and made a nonverbal agreement,  
"Yes." They both said together. Dean expected Sam to throw a fit or just be disgusted, his reaction took dean by surprise, Sam picked dean up and gripped him in a deathly bear hug. Dean pretended to choke and Sam laughed before he put him down,  
"We'll it's about time! I had been getting sick of the longing stares and awkward smiles. You two are SO cute together! I'm so happy for you guys!" Dean's eyes widened and he said,  
"Really? You're OK with it?" Sam rolled his eyes and said,  
"Do you love him?" Dean immediately said,  
"Yes." Sam smiled and said,  
"Does he love you?" Dean turned to Cas and Cas strongly said without a second thought,  
"Yes." Sam grinned even wider and said,  
"If that's the truth than hell yeah! I'm definitely OK with it!" Sam gave dean the beer and was about to walk out when Cas said,  
"Thank you Sam, it means a lot to us." Sam turned around and his smile was ear to ear,  
"As dean would say, no chick flick moments!" Cas nodded and Sam walked out. Dean could swear he heard him humming. Cas looked at dean and they kissed, dean pulled Cas closer to him and said,  
"I love you. I love you." He said it over and over again and Cas knew he did, he knew he always would, forever. through any storm and any distance, they would love each other.

* * *

Sam ran into the cell room a week later, beaming ear to ear, Cas was sitting with dean and they were discussing school. Sam snapped his fingers to get deans attention and he looked at him curiously,  
"What's up princess Samantha?" Sam rolled his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that week. He waved a piece if paper in the air and yelled gleefully,  
"You got bailed!" Dean was ecstatic,  
"What? That's great! Who was it?" Sam stopped mid breath and said,  
"Uhh...Anonymous." Dean furrowed his brow and said,  
"Really?" Sam swallowed and nodded,  
"Yeah, could be anyone!" Dean raised his eyebrows and said,  
"Sam, who was it?"  
"Me." Cas suddenly said, he had been quiet ever since Sam came in but now he spoke loud and clear,  
"I bailed you out. It was me." Dean was a tense upset,  
"Cas! You shouldn't have done that! Where did it come from?" Cas looked down and said, quieter,  
"My college fund." Dean sighed and said,  
"Cas! Why did you do that?" Cas stood up suddenly, angry. He clenched his fists and Sam saw a tear fall down his cheek,  
"Because they were going to kill you!" Dean was taken aback,  
"They what?!" Sam knew what had happened, why and who. He left the cell and went back home, he knew that Cas and dean needed to talk and he wouldn't get in their way. Cas put his head in his hands and said helplessly,  
"I heard the judge and jury talking yesterday, they said you would get 5 more years in jail and then you would get the electric chair! Don't tell me I shouldn't have bailed you out because if I didn't then you would be dead in 5 years, I can't live without you Dean, sure I could get by the first year but I would break down, I'd kill myself. Don't tell me that I wouldn't and I would get over it because I never loved anyone dean, not like this. And I never will again if you're gone. I know where my brothers sleeping pills are, i could do it in a day. I would be gone, no pain, no sadness. I would die to be with you. I bailed you out of jail because I love you and I can't live a life without you." Cas was crying now, year flowing down his agony stricken face. His voice cracked as he said, "dean, I can't- I won't-" dean stopped all other worries and thoughts by throwing himself onto Cas and kissing him with more love and passion than the world had in it. Cas tears were hot and wet against deans face but he didn't care, all he cared about was Cas, nothing else. Just Castiel Novak. The boy who gave away college to save his lovers life. The boy who loved him.

* * *

Cas and dean eventually decided to tell their friends that they were dating. The reaction from their friends was just as they expected.  
Lisa was angry, as always. Sam just gave dean a knowing smile. Becky squeeled and hugged them both. Jo gasped and started ranting on how she knew all a long and how perfect thy we're together. Gabe just laughed and looked at Cas with a I-knew-all-along-ever-since-you-two-met face. Meg gasped and just like becky, hugged them. Telling deans friends was easy but it would be harder to tell John.

* * *

Dean decided to tell his father while he drove him to school. John very rarely drove dean because he was quite able to drive himself but John loved his son and he wanted to spend time with him when he wasn't hunting. Dean was worried on what he would think, John had always been very biased on sexual orientation and if he didn't know what he would think about his masculine, car loving and attractive son being Bi. John seemed to be in a good mood today so dean was optimistic. When they started to drive, dean took a deep breath and said,  
"Dad?" John glanced over at him and said,  
"Yeah son?" Dean became very nervous and he said,  
"I'm in love with someone at my school. I think it's really serious this time." John beamed at his son and said,  
"That's great dean! Who is it? Have I met her?" Dean coughed and said,  
"That's the problem dad," John looked confused and said,  
"What?" Dean took another deep breath and quietly said,  
"It's not a her." John's mouth gaped, he glanced over at his son and kept his grip on the car wheel sturdy but dean could see the anger on his face.  
"Dad? Say something." Dean was getting scared. John gritted his teeth and said,  
"Are you telling me that you're gay?" Dean swallowed and said,  
"Bi. I like girls as well as guys." John was getting angry,  
"Who is it?" John said,  
"It's Castiel Novak." Dean stuttered. John became red in the face and his voice rose,  
"So you're not only gay, but you're gay for some nerdy freak?!" That hit dean like a knife,  
"Don't call him that!" Dean yelled back, "he is not a freak, And I love him!" John rolled his eyes and truer to keep the car stable,  
"Dean you were always supposed to be the man of the family! Now this? You sicken me!" They had pulled up to the school parking lot and Cas was waiting for dean at the doors. He knew something was wrong when he heard muffled yells coming from the car. The yells drew attention of many students. When dean opened his door to get out, John's yell reached all the students outside. Dean didn't bother to close the door, he just ran to Cas. The last he heard his father say was,  
"I will NOT be known as the father of a GAY FAGGOT!" John closed the door and drove away. Everyone was staring at dean, who was hugging Cas and crying. Cas patted his back and quietly murmured,  
"It's OK." Over an over again. The whole school knew about dean and Cas then, and their reaction wasn't as good as deans friends.

* * *

Crowley, Alistair and Lucifer all cornered Castiel after school.  
"So I hear that dean and you have been banging around." Cas was extremely offended.  
"We are not sexually active!" He said, annoyed. Crowley laughed loudly,  
"Sure! That's what you tell everyone but you know what I think? I think that you're destroying the life of a perfectly good STRAIGHT dude." And with that Crowley threw a punch at Cas that dazed him and made his nose bleed. Cas whimpered and tried to run but he tripped and hit his head on the pavement. The teens laughed at him and Alistair picked him up by his collar and hissed into his ear,  
"You have sinned Castiel, you are a sickening," Alistair kneed him in the stomach with each word "gross, disgusting, faggot." Cas moaned in pain and his thoughts became blurry and jumbled up. He collapsed to the ground again and groaned, urchin his stomach. He wished that dean was there to help him.  
"Dean..." he moaned painfully. Crowley sniggered and said,  
"Calling your boyfriend won't do you any good, fag." Cas yelled as loud as he could for help and Lucifer kicked him in the face. Cas felt at least two of his teeth fall out and his nose was DEFINITELY broken. They kicked and hit him until. Cas couldn't feel his legs, then Lucifer cake up and put his entire body weight into his foot which went flying straight into Cas's spine. They heard a crack and Cas's back arched. He let out a blood curdling shriek and his whole body paralyzed. Cas couldn't move his legs or hip. His body burned like hell fire. He wanted to die, for the pain to end. He wanted Crowley to kill him. He couldn't stand another minute of this agonizing pain. He begged for his life to end until he heard a hoarse deep voice filled with worry call his name,  
"Cas?!" Dean ran toward the bloody pile on the ground and tears flowed down his face. He kneeled by Cas and put his head in his lap.  
"Cas are you OK? Cas! Cas say something!" Cas tried to speak but his speech was stopped with a fountain of blood. Dean's eyes widened. He shook from head to toe with sobs. Cas was probably dying. His years fell onto Cas and mixed with his blood.  
"Cas say something! Please! Don't go don't leave me! I-I love you!" Cas' hand shook as he raised it to deans face. Dean held his hand to his cheek and gripped it tight. Cas was deans only reason to get up in the morning. Cas was who got him through all the homework and teachers at school. His smile immediately made his day brighten. Now his light to brighten his day, was just blown out. Cas took one long shaky breath and said,  
"I love you." He then closed his eyes and fell into unmoving unconsciousness. Dean put a hand over Cas' stomach, he wasn't breathing. Dean pulled out his phone and called 911.  
"Hello this is 911 what Is your emergency?" Dean didn't know what to say,  
"Cas, he's dying, not breathing. Please help." The person on the other end sounded a bit anxious,  
"Ok, sir where are you?" Dean looked around wildly,  
"The school, Lawrence district high. Please hurry! He's dying! He isn't breathing. Oh god he isn't BREATHING!" The person on the other end tried to calm him down.  
"Alright listen sir, an ambulance is on it's way, just stay calm and tell me what happened." Dean pulled Cas' body closer to himself and said into the phone,  
"Just hurry please, he's dying." And he hung up. Dean looked into Cas' deep sapphire eyes and felt his heart sink into his stomach. Cas wasn't breathing, he was dying. Dean couldn't breath himself, his body shook with uncontrollable sobs and he gripped Cas' limp body tight. He couldn't let him go, he wouldn't. He had to protect him from anything and everything. He would never let anyone ever hurt him again.

* * *

When the ambulance came, it took three paramedics to pull dean away from Cas. He rode in the ambulance with him an held his hand even though he wanted to hug him and try to make things better he knew that there was nothing he could do now. They got to the hospital fast and Cas was sent straight to ER. Dean saw them perform cpr and give him an oxygen mask. Deans heart skipped 10 beats when he heard Cas take a long breath. He sighed and looked on too see him grasp the mask and look wildly around. The doctors asked what he was looking for but all he would say was,  
"Dean, Dean, Dean!" Dean ran over to him, against the doctor's protests and held his hand.  
"I'm here Cas, I'm here." Cas sighed and continued breathing into the mask. He closed his eyes and the doctors stitched him up. Dean held his hand every second of the operation and every so often would whisper in his ear, things like,  
"It's ok, I'm here, you're going to be alright," and most of all, "I love you." Sam came to the hospital an hour later. Dean was angry at him for coming so late but Sam said,  
"Dad wouldn't let me come when he found out where I was going so I punched him and ran." Dean's mouth gaped and he said,  
"Really? You did that?" Sam nodded and sat down in the chair bed to where dean was, holding Cas' hand.  
"Is he alright?" Dean nodded but a tear fell down his cheek and Sam asked,  
"Dean, what don't I know?" Dean started to cry and he said,  
"His spine is broken, he'll never be able to walk again." Sam gasped. He patted deans back and said,  
"Oh man, I am so sorry! That's horrible!" Dean nodded. Sam smiled and said,  
"But you know what? I know you'll be with him every step of the way." Dean moaned as he remembered the conversation him and Cas had had after Balthazar beat him up;

**_"You know what Cas? You're gonna get a lot worse. It's gonna hurt but I'll get you through it, I promise. I'll be there every step of the way." A tear rolled down Cas's cheek and dean hugged him._**

Dean had let him down then and he couldn't let him down again.


End file.
